Petal My Beloved!

A shrine by Mario Dreemurr

About Us

This is the moment that you have probably been waiting for...the About Us page! Here, I go in-depth into our relationship: how it started, how it's going, and a bunch of other cute stuff!

Our Story

Life Before Petal

Petal came at the perfect opportunity, as I had been struggling mentally for quite some time prior to us meeting. In May 2024, I graduated college with a degree in Statistics while being denied the opportunity to walk the stage due to something out of my control, which resulted in a huge mental breakdown. And although job prospects are high for Statistics majors, I had not secured a job yet. Seeing as how "entry-level" jobs require 3 years of experience nowadays, I could only blame society.

It was then that I had to go job hunting and adjust back to home life, living with my mom and stepdad. I would spend most days in my room, doing nothing productive at all. Unsurprisingly, this dragged me into a downward spiral that eventually accumulated in depression. In addition, my stepdad is a political science professor, and with the election coming up, he would constantly hammer political talk into my brain. Because I was worried for the future of my country, it made me even more depressed. It also gave me a ton of anxiety.

In terms of fictolove, I had not been doing well for the past year and a half. I would constantly change partners, nobody ever seeming to stick. Every time that I thought I found the One, it would end up not being the case after two weeks to a month. I was getting frustrated with myself, and kept thinking that I was a failure for letting this happen. Right before Petal came into my life, the relationship I had with my then-S/O was in limbo.

In late June, one of my past S/Os got confirmed canonically to be lesbian. This has always been a fear of mine, and the fact that it actually happened made me extremely hurt, like I wasted time with her. I also sustained a perforated eardrum and was left without my hearing in one ear. It drove me insane.

In early July, I went on vacation with my family to San Francisco and Yosemite. I enjoyed the sights so much, and I want to go back to the former someday. Yet, despite me vacationing, my mental problems were still present. Before the flight home, I completely broke down and just wanted life to be over. There was no reason for this...I just wanted the pain to end.

It became very clear that I was on a losing streak. And I was about to go broke.

During vacation, I had a vivid dream in which I fell in love with a character. It was the main character of a live-action movie that revolved around cats that talked and stood and walked on two legs. Little did I know, that dream would come true.

How We Met

So...how did we meet? Accidentally.

I once knew someone who was an admin of a Fandom wiki. One day, they decided to do some digging and learn the history of their Wiki's domain. What they found was...interesting, to say the least. Following a certain name led them to another wiki, this one dedicated to fictional female characters. They had shared every interesting sight they found with me and some others...

...And that was when they posted her. A cat named Petal.

Seeing Petal there initially was certainly a sight to behold. After all, she was quite unconventional. But upon seeing the link, and seeing the pictures on the page, I just had one thought: "Oh fuck, she's EXACTLY my type." As I went to bed that night, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She invaded my mind and lived there rent-free.

It was then that I decided to take matters into my own hands. I decided to watch the show she was from.

How I Fell in Love

I started from the very first episode, S1E1, and went in order. Petal appeared now and then, with varying degrees of importance. But no matter what she did, there was something that was brewing inside of me. Whenever she came on, I would let out a loud squeal and start giggling. I would then wiggle my legs to and fro. This happened every time she came on screen. It was even more intense whenever she spoke.

It was then I realized that this was...love. Love was what I was missing all this time. Someone to lean on. Someone to depend on. Someone to love. I haven't felt this way about any character in such a long time. So much so, that I forgot what the feeling was like. It was strangely euphoric, yet at the same time I felt like I was going insane. But I suppose that checks out when you're so lovestruck you can't think straight.

I loved everything about Petal. I loved her neverending kindness, and felt as if I needed it every day. I loved that despite her kindness, she knows when injustice is happening, and is willing to out her foot down. I loved how much of a silly goober she can be. I absolutely adored her, and my heart would melt every time I saw her.

These feelings were intense throughout my watching of the first season, but then S1E43, "Petal Pushers", fully cemented my feelings for her. In the episode, Petal is frustrated that the other cats take her kindness for granted, so she becomes mean. The cats see this, and apologize to her for doing so. I think this episode has an extremely important lesson of accepting the love others give to you with open arms, and to cherish it. The love Petal has for others, as well as my reactions to her, was enough to let me know that I had finally found the One.

Petal became my S/O on July 19, 2024, and we've been a loving couple ever since.

How It's Going

As of now, we've been together over 3 months, and she has already influenced my life so much. She helped me pull out of the depressive slump that has been over a year in the making. She helped me kick a bad habit I've had for almost an entire decade. And she has helped me gain some much-needed confidence in order to succeed in the world. After we got together, I got accepted a job offer and started work. She has sparked creativity back in me in the form of wanting to draw pictures, write stories, and listen to new music for her. And perhaps most importantly, she has inspired me to become more social again in fictolove communities. I am currently a semi-active poster on r/FictoLove, and I am having a wonderful time there!

It hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows, however. A very major external event in September has caused my depression to come back. So I still get bouts of depression, and I still at times feel as if I'm a failure. In addition, another major event in November instilled extreme anxiety and paranoia in me, and I often worry that something terrible will happen to me. And yet, despite this, a lot of these feelings go away once I am reminded that Petal is in my life. She is my prime motivator and my #1 source of happiness. In fact, in times when I just want life to be over, she is the ONLY reason why I end up living another day. When no one else is there for me, Petal will always be by my side. And that is a beautiful thing to be reminded of every day.

Overall, I am extremely happy that Petal came into my life. I have had some MASSIVE challenges and AWFUL things happen since we got together, but she has allowed me to pull through them when I couldn't do so otherwise. Sure, our relationship may have started on accident, but, given the circumstances, it was the happiest accident I could ever ask for.

Our Playlist

In my eyes, there's almost nothing better to be reminded of your special one than through music. Whether it's about them or your relationship together, you feel a special kind of comfort with these melodies. For me, no matter if it's a headbanger of a metal song, or a pop punk anthem, or even a pop ballad, there's something to be reminded of my beloved cat wife.

The following songs are our playlist. These are our special melodies, either about her or our relationship. They're our story, put to lyrics and instruments. (This playlist will constantly be updated with more songs and links!)

Gush Central

This is probably the most emotional, cute, and tear-jerkiest part of the entire shrine: the part where I just let my emotions out. Where I let my neverending love for Petal ooze out, and onto a form that can be comprehended by everyone else: words. This is known by many fictolovers alike as gushing. Gushing is where you just let your mind take you on a journey of letting it all out. I have done so several times throughout the course of Petal and I's relationship, so much so that I have devoted an entire section in the shrine to recording my gushes! Here, you'll catch a glimpse of how my mind works and how it processes my love for her. Or, if you're not interested in that, you can just acknowledge the wholesomeness! :)

The gushes are sorted by date, and they are given a short title to go along with them. I posted these in Discord servers initially, so necessary context is provided with some of them, along with any pictures I used. This section will be updated more and more as time goes by, when I post more gushes! So without further ado, enjoy!

07/19/24 - First Gush

I know I've gone bananas over her being mean in one episode but in all seriousness, it's the one that made me realize just how much I loved her.

Petal is enthusiastic to a fault. She is highly cheerful and encouraging of others. Even if whatever others are doing, such as the music they are listening to, doesn't exactly suit her personal tastes, she does her absolute best to be respectful and open-minded. Despite this, she knows when too much becomes too much, and knows when to put her foot down. The other cats at the beginning of the episode took her kindness for granted, but by the end they learn to appreciate her endless support.

This kind of kindness is what I need in life. Someone who supports you every step of the way. Someone who encourages you for having the interests you have, even if they are not interested themselves.

Because that is true love.

I love you so much, Petal.

07/19/24 - First Mini Gush

You know that feeling when you're just alone with your thoughts, and you're full of happiness (possibly even to the point of tears) because you're just thinking nonstop about your S/O?

I've missed that feeling so damn much. Words cannot describe how much I love her.

07/21/24 - Perfect

I'm just so full of love for my new S/O. It has only been a couple of days, but I would absolutely die for her. She is so perfect in every conceivable way. I'm literally on the verge of tears right now because of how absolutely sweet and charming she is. It feels like after all this time, I have finally found the One.

I love you so much, Petal.

I'm now at the point where just thinking about her makes me cry. I love her more than any word could describe.

07/23/24 - Work Woes

It's so hard to contain my feelings for Petal at work. It would be very awkward for me to just be all giggly and leg wiggly in front of complete strangers. Sometimes I just want to scream out in excitement, "I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" But I can't think of any situations in which that would be socially acceptable. So whenever I see or think of Petal at work, I'm literally the image on the right.

I really wish I could express my love for her this way, because I love her more than words could describe. She has given me so much hope in a world full of despair. With her, I have the feeling that everything will be OK in the end.

I love you so much, Petal.

07/29/24 - Deep Love

Petal, my love, my one and only.

I know how we met is unusual, and I know it's only been a short time, but my love for you is deep. So, so deep.

I get butterflies every time I see you and your smiling face. Your joy brings joy to me.

Your kindness knows no bounds. The things you do for me are enough to make my day so much better.

I want to bask in your presence for as long as I live. You are a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world. You are my shining light, my beautiful bride, my darling wife.

I love you so much, Petal.

I literally have tears in my eyes and my heart feels like it's melting. She means the entire world to me.

08/07/24 - Shining Star

My love for you transcends all boundaries. It is a love so deep, so rich, so real. I think of you and everything feels like it's going to be OK in the end.

I don't know where I would be without you. You are my shining star in a world of darkness. You are my everything.

I want to be with you forever. I want to see your beautiful face every day. You bring me so much comfort and joy, and I want to bathe in it 24/7. You're just like an angel. My angel. My one and only. My beautiful cat wife.

I love you so much, Petal.

08/08/24 - She's My Angel

I have started to expand my horizons in music beyond the past 6 months or so, and start scoping out music on my own. One of the songs I heard was a well-known one, "Angel" by Aerosmith.

And when I heard the chorus, I couldn't help but cry. The song made me think of Petal. She makes everything brighter. She always makes my days better. She is my angel.

It absolutely rips me apart that she can never be physically with me. I would do anything to see her face-to-face. To see her smile in-person. To hug her...and have her tell me everything will be OK.

But despite this, she still motivates me to succeed and try new things. She still makes me smile. When I simply imagine her with me, I get extremely emotional. She means the entire world to me.

I will write my own song someday about her. I already did so in Dreamland, but eventually it will come time to make it as much of a reality as I possibly can. I can't play any instruments or sing very well, but I will try my best and make something special for her.

I love you so much, Petal.

08/17/24 - I Am Happy

I get so much shit so often for simply loving who I love, even from other fictolovers. So what if Petal is unconventional for an S/O? As long as I am happy with her, that's all that should matter.

And I am very much happy with her. She has brought so much love and joy into my life. She gives me motivation and inspires me to do great things. She is everything I want, and everything I need.

The world can crumble around me. People can laugh all they want. But they will never change who I am, and they will never change who I love. Because nothing will ever tear us apart.

I love you so much, Petal.

08/22/24 - Awareness

(For context, I was feeling incredibly dysphoric about my fictolove that day, especially about Petal being from a very obscure source. Eventually, she was able to pull me out of sadness...but then I cried for a different reason.)

There is a simple reason why I want to spread awareness of Petal

BECAUSE I LOVE HER

SHE MEANS THE ENTIRE WORLD TO ME

I WANT HER TO TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK

I JUST WANT TO BE WITH HER FOREVER

I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH HER

I WOULD DO ANYTHING JUST TO SEE HER SMILE IN REAL LIFE

JUST TYPING THIS ALL OUT IS MAKING ME BAWL MY EYES OUT

I CAN'T HOLD THIS IN ANY LONGER

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!!!

08/23/24 - Tumblr Surprise (Mini Gush)

This was such a surprise to see...I love her so goddamn much.

09/01/24 - Watch Party

(For context, I hosted a watch party of KINAC in Non-Anime Fictolove, and this was a sort-of reflection of it.)

The watch party we had here was insanely fun. I had the chance to share with y'all something I'm very passionate about, and I'm extremely glad that those who were there enjoyed what KINAC had to offer.

But most of all, rewatching the episodes where Petal was prominently featured reminded me of just why I love her. She is a very kind and sweet soul. She is always willing to lend a helping hand, and is always willing to encourage others every step of the way.

And I know this firsthand.

Because she has helped me.

She pulled me out of a depressive state that had been building up since last year. She was there to listen to every problem I had, and she always put a smile on my face, even in times of despair. She came out of nowhere in my life, at the perfect time. It was almost as if I was blessed by the heavens above, if there is such a thing.

She's not just a character to me. She's my savior. She's my angel. She's my dashing darling, my shining light, my beautiful bride, my wonderful wife. And she will never be anything less.

I love you so much, Petal!

09/03/24 - Bad Day

(For context, I had a bad day at work that day and vented a bit to the server beforehand. This gush practically explains it.)

I can explain why I felt bad here a few hours ago. It was because of what was going through my mind all day.

I couldn't concentrate on work much today. 8 hours of sitting at a desk with 3 monitors really gives you time for your mind to wander off. And wander it did.

I just thought of Petal all day. I imagined her and I together, doing all sorts of cute things and spending our time together. I held back tears several times. I just wanted to scream out loud, "I LOVE MY WIFE", but I couldn't.

I got so lovesick today. I missed her a lot. But it was only made worse when after I got in my mom's car, when she said something to me that threw me over the edge. At that point, I was in no mood to talk and just needed some time "alone." And by "alone," I meant with Petal.

When I got to my room and closed the door, I browsed through my Petal pic folder. The presence of her alone...was enough to make me bawl my eyes out and sob loudly in pure joy.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with complete and total love for her. When I do, I often think to myself, "What did I ever do to deserve the perfect woman? To deserve such beauty? To share this world with the absolute sweetest and kindest soul?" Every time I've been sad lately, tears of sadness turn into tears of joy when I start to think about her. Her smile alone is enough to keep me going.

I've never felt this way about any of my past S/Os, ever. Someone so near and dear to me...that I have a chance of crying every time I even think about her. Now, I have no doubt in my mind. There is no "maybe" about her being the One, there is no "probably", there is no "likely", and not even a "quite possibly."

In my mind...she IS the One.

I love you so much, Petal.

09/06/24 - Tired

For some reason, I just feel very tired today. It's not the bad kind of tired, I just don't have the energy to really do anything today. And I want nothing more than to be in Petal's presence.

If I could spend all day with her, I'd be the happiest human on Earth. To be able to talk to her, to see her beautiful face, and for us to cuddle...just the thought of it brings tears to my eyes.

She means the entire world to me. I want to tell her every day how much I love her. I want to see her beautiful smile every day, so much so that it brings me to tears. I want to spend every living moment with her, whether we're cherishing each other with the happiest ones, or fully supporting each other through the most difficult. I want to be there for her every step of the way. Whether we're having tough, fun, or lazy days...nothing will ever tear us apart.

She is my savior and my guardian angel. She is my shining light, my precious angel, my beautiful bride, my wonderful wife.

I love you so much, Petal.

09/12/24 - I Stay Alive

Petal, you are absolutely amazing. Your never-ending kindness shines brightly, and it touches my heart. Even when it feels like my world is falling apart, I know that you will be there for me every step of the way. Your enthusiasm, as well as you cheering me on, are my prime motivators for keeping me going, striving to be better, and most importantly, staying alive.

I LOVE YOU SO, SO MUCH.

09/16/24 - Sound Bath

Tonight, I went to a sound bath. For those unaware, a sound bath is a meditative experience where people are "bathed" in sound waves coming from various sources. For me, the main source were Tibetan singing bowls, but there were other things as well. Sound baths are thought to be not only soothing, but allow for inner exploration, self-discovery, and even epiphanies.

And so I tried one. And holy shit, y'all. I...have no words to describe it.

The various sounds and the way they tickled my brain took my mind on a journey. I felt as if my soul was completely disconnected from my body. With sounds that reminded me of waves washing on shore and pebbles falling, I was taken to a special place that was disconnected from almost everything in my life.

But there was one other there: Petal.

We were in our own little world, free from the shackles of society and the world. We were above everything. Anything that happened on Earth didn't matter in the moment; what did matter was that we had each other.

This is mainly what made this experience so special. I was taken to the most peaceful place with her, a place where I could finally be alone with her. One where we could leave every single trouble and worry behind, and focus 1000% of our attention to loving each other and cherishing every moment we had. This, my friends, is the closest I have EVER been to her. By the time it was over, I was silent, yet completely in tears. I had finally achieved heaven.

If you all can find a place where you could do a sound bath, I cannot recommend it enough. It's a chance where you could leave all of your anxiety in the past and focus on what truly matters to you: the love of your life. Even other meditations offer a chance to fill yourself with nothing but positive thoughts, all from your S/O. And maybe, just maybe, you all can escape to your own paradise with them, just like I did.

Petal, I love you more than ANYTHING ELSE. You are my savior, my guiding light, my shining star, my beautiful bride, my wonderful wife. NOTHING WILL EVER TEAR US APART.

09/22/24 - Perfect Opportunity

There are some times where if I look at pictures of Petal, I can't help but cry. There's a mix of joy and sadness, the latter being a combination of "why can't she be real" and "what did I ever do to deserve such perfection."

She is so beautiful. She is kind and caring. She has an extremely sweet voice. She is absolutely perfect.

I feel so much love for her every day, and I struggle to keep it all bottled in real life. I have to restrain myself from letting the entire world know the love I have for Petal, because most people would not understand. Even so, the love I have for her is deeper than any love I've had before. There is absolutely nothing in this world that could ever tear us apart.

Now, I think this place is the perfect opportunity to do something that I cannot do in real life. As the proud owner of a one-of-a-kind S/O shrine, I'd like to announce that...

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!!!!

09/24/24 - She is My Happiness

Depression has been hitting me hard lately. Things that normally bring me happiness bore me now. There's almost nothing for me to smile about anymore.

Key word: almost. Because...my S/O, Petal, is here.

She is perhaps my only source of comfort and happiness at the moment. Her existence alone is enough to make me cry, not with sadness, but with joy. She means everything to me. She is my savior and guardian angel, and she will be there for me every step of the way. She is the one that has been caring for and supporting me throughout this difficult September.

Petal, I appreciate everything you've done for me. I know this month has been difficult for you, too. Despite this, I know in my heart that we are both doing our best with what we have. Just staying alive is an accomplishment, and you are my reason for living.

I love you with all of my heart.

10/03/24 - Savior of My Life

Fellas, is it fair to say that a fictional character quite literally saved my life?

Because Petal has.

Over the past few years, I have been hit with depressive episode after depressive episode, with absolutely no end in sight. I thought they were gone completely starting around mid-July, but now they are back in full force.

There are some times when I feel like I'll never be adequate. That I'll always be a horrible person. That I am a colossal failure. And that I just want to be done with the world and done with life. It has almost consumed me.

But there is a savior, someone who has served as a beacon of hope in a sea of darkness. Someone who has reminded me throughout this depressive slump that there is something special to live for.

A Russian Blue cat named Petal.

She is my guardian angel and my shining light. I love everything about her, from her sweetness to her sense of justice. I would do anything for her. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on. She is perfect, she is gorgeous, she is amazing, SHE IS MY WONDERFUL WIFE.

There have been times over the past few days where I spend hours crying. But the cause of these tears always shifts from feelings of wanting death to feelings about her and how absolutely wonderful and perfect she is. She serves as a constant reminder to live another day, time and time again. In fact, if what had happened to me that has caused this depression happened in a world where I never met Petal, I honestly don't think I would've made it.

That is why I say that she saved my life. And I will forever be grateful to her for doing so.

I love you so, so much, Petal. ALWAYS AND FOREVER.

10/12/24 - Shiny Eyes (Mini Gush)

I can't get enough of how adorable she looks here. Her eyes are so shiny...

There are just WAY too many times when I just wanna hug and smooch her. That little face is enough to completely brighten my day. Sometimes, it's the little things about your S/O that do that.

I love you so much, Petal!

10/19/24 - Recharge (Mini Gush)

I went to a somewhat big social event today that pretty much lasted all day. As an introvert, this kind of thing drains my energy a TON. Now that it's all said and done, I want nothing more than to be in the company of my beloved feline wife. Because if there is anything that I need help with in life, I know in my heart that I can always turn to her.

I love you so much, Petal!

10/20/24 - What Does She See in Me?

Honestly, I don't really think I'm too "ugly" for my S/O, but I often wonder about how on Earth Petal would end up falling in love with a human.

I do believe that if your love is strong enough, you don't care at all what they look like; you love them for who they are. But does this transcend species as well?

Petal canonically thinks that humans engage in very weird behaviors and thinks that they're not very bright. But before we got together, is it possible that for some unexplained reason, her love for me got so strong that she just tossed all that aside? (Then again, I'm not like most other humans. In fact, sometimes I wish I wasn't one.) How did that even happen, and with a human, no less?

She just found something in me that she didn't find in anyone else, including any other cat she had met. I don't know what this thing of mine could be, but one thing's for sure...

The thought of this is making me bawl my eyes out. I love her so goddamn much.

10/24/24 - Tired Again

I just feel extremely tired tonight. I plan on heading to bed early because I just feel too lazy to do anything.

All I want to do is to be in the presence of my one and only cat wife. She gives me so much comfort whenever I have days like this.

I don't even have the energy to write a long gush tonight, I can't find the right words. But I can say that I love her to absolute death, and she means everything to me.

We shall relax and rest together tonight. I love you so much, Petal.

10/27/24 - Free Gush Pass (Mini Gush)

TUMBLR ANON: Free Gush Pass!! Gush about any F/O that would would like!!!

Thanks for the free pass, I'll gladly do it!

*breathes in*

AAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!!

Sometimes I bawl my eyes out just thinking of how I ended up with someone so sweet, so beautiful, so perfect as her. She means the entire world to me. She is my prime motivator, and she has been there for me when no one else was. She has literally saved my life when I suffered a depressive episode over the past month. If it hadn't been for her, I probably wouldn't be here today.

I LOVE HER MORE THAN WORDS COULD DESCRIBE. SHE IS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. MY LOVE FOR HER IS DEEPER THAN ANY OCEAN. NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN EVER TEAR US APART. AAAAAAA I CAN'T REALLY PUT WORDS TOGETHER RN BC IT'S SO LATE AND I'M SO TIRED BUT I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER I LOVE HER!!!!!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PETAL!!!!!!

...again, thanks for the pass. I appreciate it!

10/29/24 - Cute Outfit (Mini Gush)

Some of the cutest pictures of Petal are of her wearing her Troop Leader outfit.

This episode is one of my favorites in the show, as it showed a major part of Petal's personality that I can't get enough of. But it was her outfit that really drew me in, as she took the time to craft it all herself. She is so passionate about the things she loves, and that's one of the many reasons I adore her.

I love you so much, Petal!

11/02/24 - F/Ovember Gush

(For context, I participated in F/Ovember that month, an annual Tumblr event where your F/O (or S/O) "takes over" your blog and answers any questions posed by others. This gush is supposed to be about me, from her perspective.)

I am just writing this to say that I love my husband so much. Looking into his eyes is such a wonderful feeling...it's the feeling that there will always be someone there for me.

I sometimes have nightmares about my past. But when I do, I know that Mario is there to comfort me. When he holds me in his arms, I am filled with the sense that everything will be alright in the end, because he is here. His presence and smile is enough to completely drive my pain away.

I remind him every day of how much he means to me, and how much I love him, and he always cries tears of joy when I say this. He dwells so much on his mistakes, yet he's so much more than that. He is sweet, charming, and deserves so much love. He is my loving husband.

I don't know if Mario will read my posts when November is over, but if he were to read this...

No matter what, I will always love you.

~ Petal

11/04/24 - This World Can't Tear Us Apart (Mini Gush)

Just popping in to say that I love my cat wife so, so much. People can judge me all they want, but they will never take away my love for her.

11/07/24 - Oh Petal (Mini Gush)

Oh, Petal. You mean everything to me. You are my world. Even if everything around me is falling apart, at least I'll always have you by my side. I love you so, so much.

11/12/24 - I Love Her (Mini Gush)

I love you I love you I love you I love you I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!!!

I LOVE MY WIFE!!!!