Petal My Beloved!

A shrine by Mario Dreemurr

About Me

"They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're all the same." -Kurt Cobain

Greetings, fellow humans!...Er, hey everyone! Welcome to the About Me page, where you can find information about myself, obviously! Seeing as how this shrine isn't about me, I'll keep it as brief as possible while sharing with y'all some fun facts and information. So let's get started!

Basic Info

Hello! My online name is Mario Dreemurr, but I also go by TOAGamer in some places. But y'all can call me Mario, or Marma or Marm (the name of my aliensona). I am a bi-xenosexual paraboy, and I use he/they pronouns. (That means that I am a bisexual who is exclusively attracted to sapient nonhumans, including furries and anthros.) I am autistic, so I apologize if I can't get my point across; finding the right words isn't exactly my strongest suit. Lastly, if you want to get to know me more personally, you can find me either on Discord as toagamer, on Reddit as u/Historical-Gift-2877, or on Tumblr as mariodreemurr! I'd love to chat with you! I also help run a semi-private Discord server dedicated to non-anime S/Os. Please contact me if you are interested in joining!

Hobbies, Interests, and Fun Facts

My Story in Fictolove

I have been a fictolover since February 2016, when I was 13 years old. Although I have had a few fictional crushes before this point, that month was when I realized that I loved characters on a level that transcends how most people feel. I would tell everyone about how much I loved my S/O, even if they didn't want to hear it or would end up making fun of me for it. (That's my fault for telling irl people, whoops.)

My S/Os changed frequently from that time to the present. Some of my past S/Os include Muffet from Undertale; Susie from Deltarune; Juno from Beastars; Loona and Sallie May from Helluva Boss; Pomni and Jax from The Amazing Digital Circus; and lots and lots of OCs. However, none of these prior S/Os come close to the amount of love I feel for Petal.

I have dabbled in several online fictolove communities. In July 2016, I joined my first: Waifu Amino. I posted there frequently about Muffet, and I became the face of the community. Sadly, it was unmoderated, and it came time to migrate. So, the community got together to form a new community, and I applied to be the leader. After all, I was the face of the community, so my spot was secured, right?

Wrong. I was not selected. I attribute my loss to the fact that my S/O was nonhuman, and the leader's was an anime girl. It marks the first time I've ever been discriminated against for having a nonhuman S/O. Although I helped out as a moderator, deep down I felt betrayed by this community. So in November 2017, I took my leave, and broke up with Muffet, too.

Sadly, it would not be the last time I was discriminated against. I rejoined the Amino communities multiple times under undercover alt accounts, and got told off multiple times for my posts. For example, I was accused of posting "yiff" even though I posted a totally SFW image. And after I got with Susie in November 2018, I rejoined again, where a moderator kept harassing me simply due to my S/O. When I sent a complaint to the owner, the mod retracted the harassment, simply stating that it was a joke. Needless to say, that was the last time I ever step foot in that community.

Then, in January 2019, I would join a community that changed the course of my fictolove journey forever: r/waifuism. There, I was met with actual, neverending support for my relationship. And this intensified with me joining its Discord server in April. I also joined r/waifusoulmates later on, where I received further support. I felt truly unstoppable, as if nothing bad would ever happen.

But they did happen. An incident in November 2019 in which I had my trust badge wrongfully taken away left me with crippling anxiety and paranoia. This caused several rifts between me and everyone else; I even ended up leaving r/waifusoulmates because of this. In addition, several cracks formed in the community, including an incident in which a person which I will call "NC" was banned for having an underaged S/O. For quite some time, things looked hopeless.

In late December, I received a DM from NC asking me to join a new server he created called "Waifu Universe." Since I was feeling bad about my situation, I felt as if this was a way to start anew. And for a time, it was. It inspired me to join several other communities, including 2D Love, WaifuSpot, and Waifuism Empire. But this Waifu Universe was where I felt...home. It was a place where no relationships were disallowed, and as a result, I felt that I was finally free from discrimination for loving who I loved. Eventually, I was made a moderator in April 2020, and over the course of the next few months, I left every other community to focus solely on Waifu Universe. I loved the community, and I would do anything to preserve it. Even with the change in S/Os from Susie to Juno in August, I felt confident in it.

But Waifu Universe had a persistent problem. Because underaged S/Os were allowed, it allowed for groomers to thrive. And there were several incidents. But NC had an extremely stubborn moderation style, where he was the sole dictator that determined everything. And he always ignored grooming concerns and even trolls lurking in the server due to "lack of hard evidence." This resulted in a loss of trust between him, WU mods, and the rest of the overall fictolove community.

With a huge grooming incident in September, WU was on a steep decline. But I stuck with the server and NC. Because of this, he manipulated me into serving him alone. I would go to great lengths just to defend him, which resulted in him giving me admin privileges without telling anyone else. This would end up in an incident in January 2021 in which I banned a spammer. All hell broke loose, with an r/w mod that was in the server bashing both NC and me for all the harm and hurt we caused in the server.

That was when I had enough. I lashed out at NC, berating him for all the pain and suffering he caused with his moderation. With no one left to support him, the server shut its doors that day. I decided to take a break from fictolove after the incident, haunted by what I had done.

After almost two months of reflection, I decided to put the past behind me, get with a new S/O (Loona), and rejoin 2D Love in the hopes that I would be forgiven. I wanted to start anew with a clean slate, just like how I did when I joined WU. Sadly, it would not be the case. It felt as if people were cold towards me, like I haven't truly been forgiven. This was especially the case for one particular member, who publically vagueposted about me and how I didn't belong there. There was also one incident in which a person posted a meme hating on furries, and not a ban was given that day. In addition, any grievances I had were largely ignored. So, in June, I decided that I had enough and left that community for good.

For a moment, it was as if I'd never be in a fictolove community again. Then, I saw something that truly infuriated me.

There was a popular member in r/w whose S/O was Ike from Fire Emblem. A little while back, she decided to leave r/w and start her own branch of fictolove, which included a website. I looked on a website and its rules, and I saw in horror as there was a rule outlawing furries.

If the most popular member of r/w said no to furries, so will everyone else.

I had faced a lot of discrimination in the past, but this was the final straw for me. So, with the help of a fellow furry in fictolove, I started a private community called Nonhuman Fictolove. Though small, it was the perfect community. It was a place for nonhuman fictolovers like myself could be themselves without fear or hate. It was paradise for me, and I cherished every good memory of it.

Sadly, it wasn't perfect. I was still hit with bouts of anxiety and paranoia from my days in WU. In January 2023, I was manipulated once again into giving server ownership to a nonhuman-fictolover-turned-Genshitter who attempted to flood the server with people of her kind. College life only made these feelings worse, and the stress became way too much to handle. Then, in October 2023, after getting my account hacked by a scammer, I formally decided to step down as the owner. Even with this brand new change, the community turned sour, as its "vibe" caused people to be driven away. Today, it's barely even a server.

But with this despair, there's hope. In May, the friend that helped me form NHFL founded his own, more open community named Non-Anime Fictolove. It has immediately grown to be a more active place than NHFL, but it is still a bit quiet. (If you are interested in the server, feel free to shoot me a DM on Discord or Reddit!) In addition, I have joined r/FictoLove, a new Discord community, and have started my own Tumblr blog, and I am looking forward to meeting brand new people there!

So, despite my rocky history in fictolove, I hope to make the most out of my current fictolove life and the relationship I currently have! Here's to a bright future ahead of me!